Top Ten Worst Hacker Movies of All Times

GuardRails27 Feb 2023

Hacking is one of the toughest skills to master. It takes years to get the hang of, and more still to learn how to not get caught while doing it. But Hollywood irreverently disagrees. Most Hollywood flicks depict hackers as basement-dwelling, pizza-gulping nerds illegally downloading content and selling/buying stuff on the dark web until called to save the day. Add to the trope a heady mix of dubious FBI agents and psychopathic criminals bent on destroying the world, and you get a recipe for success! Or so they think.  

Here’s a list of 10 hacker movies that could not crack the success code. Strap in and sit tight, because this will likely make you go all Samuel L. Jackson and say… 

The Net 

Riding on the success wave of Speed, Sandra Bullock appeared in this 1995 flick as a computer security expert, Angela Bennett. Those wishing The Net to replicate the edge-of-the-seat exploits of Speed could hardly wait to leave their seats by the time Bullock tracked down her identity thieves. 

Conceded that the internet and hacking were still relatively new concepts for people in the 90s. But still, wiping out identities like you were just deleting an embarrassing college photo or signing on to Telnet with just an email address was a little too much for even back then! 

Suffice it to say that reel-life Angela Bennett would be kicked out of a hacker convention before Bullock could finish uttering ‘The Net’.

Blackhat

Sometimes a movie can be so bad that it’s good. But Blackhat isn’t bad in that way. It’s not fun to watch, and it’s not horrible enough to be hilarious either. The story follows Chris Hemsworth as a hacker working for the Chinese government. He breaks out of prison to help catch another hacker who has released a virus that threatens to take down the entire U.S. power grid.

Coming from director Michael Mann of Heat fame, this flick was a disaster. Mann’s method of portraying the intricacies of hacking involved lots of computer screens showing footage from security cameras all over the world at once. Ah yes! The scenes were interspersed with codes, but so without context that even the most hardened fans yawned their way out of theaters. 

The Hollywood Reporter’s Sheri Linden summed it up best: “Characters looking at computer screens and explaining the significance of what they see doesn’t make for the most riveting viewing.” 

The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes

This is a strange entry because it is more of reverse hacking – a computer literally hacks into and becomes a human. In Disney’s The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, Kurt Russell plays EDSAC, a computer that is also a human and lives with a family. The movie is a comedy, so the ridiculousness of it can be brushed off as an attempt at hilarity. The movie is worth watching only for the fact that you’ll probably never see another like it, hopefully, ever again.

Colossus: The Forbin Project

Move aside, hackers. What if a computer hacks into other computers? In Colossus: The Forbin Project, a supercomputer takes control of the entire world. It does this by linking to other computers and expanding its network until it becomes self-aware. 

The movie is the stuff of dreams (or nightmare-inducing). Supercomputers from both the U.S. and Russia join hands (or erm… wires) to wreak havoc. They blackmail world leaders saying they will nuke every country in the world if they are de-linked. Talk about Platonic love!

So, depending on how you look at it, this movie is either science fiction about a dystopian future where computers go rogue or a romantic movie about two computers that don’t want to be apart. Not sure which one sounds worse. We’ll let you decide. 

Swordfish

That’s such a cool-sounding movie name, right? That and Halle Berry are the two saving graces of this mega flop about a computer hacker (Halle Berry) who gets entangled with a government operative (John Travolta). 

The goofs are as elementary as the spellings of ‘algorithm’ (spelled algorithm during a hacking scene) and a repeat of the same lines of code multiple times during hacking, which frankly shows a lot of disrespect to the challenges of hacking. Another hilarious scene shows the hacker thinking hard and factoring in 512-bit encryption keys in a jiffy! If only it were that easy. 

Swordfish was so bad that it was nominated for more Razzies than any other film in 2001. It won three Razzies: Worst Supporting Actor (Vinnie Jones), Worst Supporting Actress (Halle Berry), and Worst Screen Couple/On-Screen Team for John Travolta and Halle Berry.

Superman III

It takes something special to mess up a Superman movie, especially in the 80s when superhero movies were the rage. 

But Superman III somehow managed to goof its way to failure by inducing a disgruntled hacker, Gus Gorman, into literally making an evil copy of Superman! Impressed? Wait, there’s more. 

Gorman’s skills were acquired by, well, just reading mini books on computers and dummy guides. When he’s using a computer to gain access to a building, the hacking code used is: “Override All Security”. That may still be plausible, but the movie really tests your patience when Gorman uses the code “Channel half cents from all salaries into my expenses account,” and the banking system obediently obliges. 

Who knew hacking was this simple? 

Independence Day

Including Independence Day was a hard choice. But the absurdity of Goldblum hacking into an alien security system breaks all glass ceilings that ever existed in the hacker ecosystem. 

Goldblum is a certified genius in the movie, but to be able to randomly create a virus that will somehow disable and disengage all the aliens’ supremely advanced communication and weapons systems is still indigestible. 

The movie militates against logic so much that it is verily impossible to enjoy Independence Day for what it really is – a wild, crazy alien action flick that has Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum. Alas! 

Die Hard 4

This must be one of the most absurd scripts involving hackers. A team of terrorists, led by genius hacker Tim Olyphant, hacks its way into every system that controls everyday life in the U.S: from traffic lights, banks, and communication systems to streetlights. 

How do they manage this? Well, Hollywood’s way of solving this problem is by showing someone typing mumbo jumbo really fast. This artifice conjures up a progress bar. And hey presto! The hack is complete. 

After gaining access to every single system in the richest and most developed country in the world, the terrorists, instead of wreaking havoc or bleeding the country dry of its resources, go on a needless hunt for a small-time hacker and a policeman. The attack ends up with the policeman punching way above his weight to send cars flying, helicopters crashing, and goons falling like ninepins. Wonder what the hackers were up to? 

WarGames: The Dead Code

The next part of the legendary War Games series, WarGames: The Dead Code doesn’t just fight for the title of worst hacker movie of all time but also could show up in a list of the worst movies ever. The movie insults the intelligence of anyone with the barest knowledge of computers, let alone experts. At this age, that includes almost every 4-year-old in the world.

Terminal Error

The last movie on the list perhaps has the most predictable sci-fi movie plot ever. A disgruntled former partner of a company creates a virus to destroy his ex-company. However, the virus develops a mind of its own and now wants to wipe out humanity. The only hope is an until-then-discarded-as-a-loser teenage hacker.

The plot competes with a sieve for the highest number of holes. The movie is riddled with tech inaccuracies and straight-up falsities. A Gameboy is used to hack into the system and MP3 files carry the viruses. The antidote is another virus, and why not! It’s a virus-eat-virus world after all.  

Conclusion

This is neither an exhaustive nor an authoritative list by any stretch of the imagination, for fertile minds may be working on tropes to churn out content as fresh as yesterday’s salad. But to while away your time or have laughing fits, this list is a good starting point.

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